


'Cause I'm Your Home

by catboykarljcobs



Series: Junhao- a trilogy [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gyuhao, M/M, Minor suicide mentions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, a bit of angst, final part, minghao do be makin some points tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26434333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboykarljcobs/pseuds/catboykarljcobs
Summary: It’s been… gosh, how long now?About two years. Two years and 1 month to be exact.Seven hundred and seventy days to be even more exact.Seven hundred and seventy days since he was abandoned at that hotel breakfast table. Junhui hasn’t seen Minghao in six hundred and thirteen days.
Relationships: Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Series: Junhao- a trilogy [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1102149
Kudos: 7





	'Cause I'm Your Home

**Author's Note:**

> YOOO hey if anyone is still even interested in this series, I've come out of my two year hibernation lmao. I'm planning on writing some new stuff soon, though this will probably be my last "new" kpop fic.
> 
> I felt really bad about leaving this series specifically unfinished, so I'm taking some of the stuff I wrote for it over these years and am gonn apost it all to hopefully give u guys a proper ending hahah.
> 
> Follow me on my twitter @godkeig0 or @godkeig0nsfw for more updates, but itll prolly be just anime stuff for a while. As always, thank you guys so so much for all the support you've given me on these stories, I really wouldn't be here without you. For real, seeing hits and bookmarks and comments makes my day and I'm STILL getting them for this series, even though it's like two years old. I fuckin love you guys <3

It’s been… gosh, how long now?

About two years. Two years and 1 month to be exact. 

Seven hundred and seventy days to be even more exact. 

Seven hundred and seventy days since he was abandoned at that hotel breakfast table. Junhui hasn’t seen Minghao in six hundred and thirteen days. 

And of course, that’s not a problem!

Maybe that bastard’s moved on and left the city— or even the country. With or without that guy he had left Jun for. Maybe he thinks about calling or texting, ready to apologize. Or trying to think about how and when to pop back into Jun’s life like nothing ever happened. Maybe he misses him. 

But Junhui isn’t missing him back. 

Sure, without the extra cash Minghao provided on a pretty steady basis, it was a bit harder to get by at first. But Jun is fine now— even managed to move into a real house. 

The amount of times Jun saw a funny photo or post and thought of sending it to Minghao used to be overwhelming. Now, it’s a scarce thought. He’d send whatever it is to his roommates nowadays. They appreciate them more, anyways— all Minghao ever did was leave Jun on read until he needed something. 

Jun has made small adjustments to his life that helped him keep that mulleted weasel out of his mind. No more congee for breakfast, stick to some tea eggs or dumplings. Take the long route to work— or anywhere, really. Avoid that cafe on Hubin road. Oh, and Jun’s skateboard was left at the old apartment. Better to leave it than have old memories resurfaced every time he wanted to go to the park. 

Instead, Jun started hitting the gym. He bought a membership at a gym far enough from the house to get a well needed warm up walking to the place on weekend afternoons. Seeing as today was a nice, warm Saturday, it was no different than usual. 

Somehow, everything has gotten better. Time heals all wounds. 

Unless you pick at them. 

And seeing that familiar face as Jun walked into the convenience store tore all his old scars right back open. 

The bell on the door jingled, and the man Jun had been staring at looked up just as Jun turned his head away. He took a few steps towards the refrigerators, picking up a lemon flavored energy drink. 

The man spoke, the voice, although smooth, shook Jun’s whole body to the core. 

“Welcome. Let me know if you need any help.”

Jun felt his heart beating faster, his breathing speeding up quite a bit. He peeked out from the aisle to examine the man a little better— just to make sure he wasn’t jumping to conclusions or going crazy.

Sure enough, it was definitely who he thought it was. Xu Minghao in the flesh. 

He looked a little different. His hair was shorter, and a different color. He looked almost smaller than he was two years ago— especially hunched into that book he’s reading behind the counter. He’s got on gold framed glasses with a beaded chain to hold them in place, a plain white shirt and tight, skinny blue jeans under an apron with the store’s logo on it. Ratty looking sneakers with rainbow socks that probably cost way more than socks should ever cost.

Jun was the only other person in the store. He can’t just leave without buying something. And that meant approaching Minghao. How intimidating. He decided to shoot his roommate groupchat a text. 

Junhui: Hey remember how we were talking about that anxiety thing and I was like “yeah that’s not me”

Junhui: ???

Kwannie: oh my god

Kwannie: what happened?? 

Junhui: How do you know if you’re having a panic attck

Junhui: Bc I’m freaking the FUCK out. 

Junhui: *attack

Hosh: jun

Hosh: what happened

Hosh: explain

Junhui: So uh

Junhui: I was coming back from the gym when I realized I forgot my protein shit in the locker but I was already too far from the gym to go back so I stopped at this corner store and,,

Junhui: He’s here. 

Kwannie: ????????

Kwannie: whos ‘he’?

Kwannie: oh

Kwannie: oh shit

Hosh: are u sure??

Junhui: I checked and double checked.

Kwannie: can u avoid him?

Junhui: He’s working the register and I'm the only customer. So not really

Kwannie: damn

Kwannie: then…… uh..

Kwannie: just dont make eye contact 

Kwannie: get ur stuff and pay and leave 

Hosh: use that wechat pay thing so itll be faster

Junhui: I’m scared

Junhui: I can’t breathe

Kwannie: jun

Kwannie: calm down

Kwannie: take deep breaths 

Kwannie: then get ur shit

Kwannie: and go 

Hosh: dont make it harder than it needs to b. do it quick so u dont have to see him again. 

Jun stopped and looked up from his phone, taking a deep breath as instructed. After a few, his head stopped spinning, and he was snapped back to reality by the freezing cold drink in his hand. 

Hosh: lol

Hosh: get some fancy chocolates or smthn too

Hosh: rub it in

Hosh: be all like

Hosh: “yea got a hot date tonite arent u jelly hao hao”

Jun would have chuckled at that if he wasn’t shaking at the moment. He’s gonna need a few days in hiding after this encounter, so better pick up a few more groceries while Juns in his right mind. 

A couple bottles of random drinks, some vegetables, a package of beef, and a tub of cookie dough ice cream. That should be enough, right? Time to suck it up and check out. Jun emerged from the back aisles of the store, dumping the contents of his handheld basket on the counter.

Minghao looked up from his book, then did a double take.

God, did he recognize me?

Jun watched as Minghao’s face turned into a smile as he picked up a bottle that Jun had just put down to scan. 

“I know you, right?” Minghao asked, running his tongue over his lips, brows furrowed. 

“Uh,” Jun’s voice caught in his throat, “Yeah… Junhui.”

Minghao’s eyes darted from the screen of the register to the man in front of him. He looked Jun up and down before cracking another smile. It made Jun’s blood boil. 

“That’s right!” Minghao said in a happy tone, “It’s been so long, how have you been?”

Is he for real?

“I’ve been fine.” Jun answered, clearing the dryness in his throat.

“That’s good. You look different, I could barely recognize you.” Minghao said with a chuckle, “Your face has slimmed out and your shoulders are so wide now.”

Jun held his tongue.

“What else is new?”

“What?” Jun asked, as if he hadn’t heard Minghao’s question. 

“What’s up?” Minghao asked, scanning another few bottles, and then the ice cream.

“Oh,” Jun said in a low voice, “Nothing really. Just stopped in to pick up some groceries.” 

Jun was doing nothing to hide the disgust in his voice. He hoped Minghao could hear it, too. 

“Well, I hope to see you again sometime.” Minghao said in a sweet tone. God, it made Jun want to vomit. 

Jun glanced at the total and pulled up his phone, scanning the code by the register and paying quickly. Minghao handed over a few bags for what Jun had bought, smiling again. 

“Have a good day, Junhui.” Minghao’s voice was soft and sweet. 

Jun muttered under his breath, placing the drinks into a bag. Minghao gave him a puzzled look.

“Excuse me?” Minghao asked

“Usually if you see someone you wronged you’d say ‘sorry’.” Jun said, louder this time. 

“Junhui…”

“So why haven’t you said anything yet?” 

“Junhui.” Minghao gripped tightly onto the counter, repeating himself, “I’m not sorry.”

“Did you enjoy making a fool out of me?” Jun asked through clenched teeth, holding the cheap plastic bags tightly in his fists. 

“The only one who made you look like a fool is yourself. You’re the one who expected more from me when all I wanted was a friend and sex. Did you really think I’d someday develop feelings for you? If it was ever going to happen, it would have before we fucked the first time.”

“You broke my heart! You didn’t even give me a chance, Minghao! That’s all I wanted— a chance!” 

“If I’m not interested, I’m not going to force myself to be with you just so you can be happy. That’s not how things work. Relationships are built on mutual understanding and trust.” Minghao was red in the face now, “You can’t force me to feel something that’s not there.”

Junhui tried to come up with something else to argue, but he just ended up shutting his mouth. 

“Listen, Junhui,” Minghao took a deep breath, “I thought we had agreed that it was a “no feelings attached” type of deal every time we fucked. I understand if you ended up developing feelings, but you can’t flip the fuck out when I tell you I don’t feel the same.”

“Forget it.” Jun gritted out, trudging to the door. 

“I was trying to be nice to you, Jun. I thought we could start over.” 

“Go fuck yourself.” 

“I don’t see how I’m in the wrong here, Jun.” Minghao said, exasperated. 

“You broke my heart. Hurt my feelings really fucking bad. And you didn’t even have the decency to give a half-assed apology.” Jun’s breaths were shaky as he walked back towards the counter, “You didn’t even feel bad!”

“I cried for days! Days, Junhui!” Minghao was almost screaming now, “I felt like complete shit! Hell, I considered dumping Mingyu just so you didn’t feel as horrible as you did. I thought I should sacrifice my happiness and well-being just for you!”

Junhui couldn't speak, fearing that if he did, his voice would crack and the hot tears that pricked his eyes would pour. 

“Why? Because I remember everything about you and I and where we started. I remember being cold and hungry and ready to jump off a building in the middle of New York. I remember that you opened your doors to me and let me into your house as many times as I needed to feel better. I remember the time you told me you had to move back to China because your visa was ending, and I was so upset that I came up with shitty excuses to make my parents move back too.” Minghao’s eyes overpoured with tears. 

“I remember the first time we had sex— you were so scared and I guided you through everything and comforted you after. I bought you so many things. Ever realize that your bills were never late? I paid them all for you— phone, electricity, water, all of them. We had so many moments together I can’t even begin to count them, Junhui. I thought that whatever I did for you wasn’t enough.”

“The way you spoke to me that day— I was trying to be civil. Nice, polite, whatever. I really was. You really hurt me, too. Those words stuck with me for months. They dug into my brain and made me think that I was the one who was in the wrong.” Minghao took a tight fist and rubbed the tears from his face, “But I finally realized— it’s not my fault. You were the one who overreacted. I tried to keep calm, but you couldn’t. If anyone needs to apologize, I think it should be you.”

“But if you still think I’m the bad one here, I’ll cave in just for you. I’m sorry.” Minghao finished, practically spitting that apology at Jun. 

All Jun could do was make a noise of disgust and stomp out of the store like an angry child. 

———

“... And then I told him to fuck himself.” 

“Damn, harsh.” Hoshi said softly, earning a plush pillow to the face by Seungkwan. He gave out a disgruntled noise, and Seungkwan motioned him to be quiet. 

“He said he wasn’t “in the wrong”, so I asked how and he started ranting about how he spent the whole time we were having sex he cared about me and that all he wanted me to do is to understand that he wasn’t into me. Basically saying I blew the whole situation out of proportion because I caught feelings. Then he apologized really sarcastically and I left.”

“What an asshole.” Hoshi said after Jun finished. 

“Jun,” Seungkwan said, “I’m sorry you had to run into him like that.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Jun asked, helplessly turning onto his stomach on the bed, burying his face into the sheets. 

“You should give him a piece of your mind!” Hoshi exclaimed, holding his carrot stick up into the air before shoving it in his mouth, “I can’t stand when people badmouth my friends like that!”

The trio were silent for a long time, the only sounds being Hoshi’s quiet crunching. 

“I think I get his point.” Seungkwan said softly. The two other boys' heads snapped towards him. 

“What do you mean?” Hoshi asked, eyebrows furrowed. 

“I mean…” Seungkwan started, then sighed, “Minghao has a point. Going by what you’ve told me he said. Of course, he didn’t exactly handle it well two years ago, nor did he handle it too well today…” 

Neither of the two spoke, so Seungkwan cleared his throat and continued, “Minghao told you that he didn’t want there to be feelings involved when you guys hooked up, and yet you still caught some. I mean, that’s not your fault! I guess it’s just the way you took it when he said he didn’t like you back and he was seeing someone else. He didn’t see your relationship as romantic, but you did— or you wanted it to be. And he’s upset because to him, he thinks you were guilt tripping him into leaving his boyfriend for you. Which… uh… you weren’t trying to do that, right?”

Jun sat up, stunned for a moment, “Uh… no, not exactly. I just… I guess I wanted him to feel bad for making me feel bad but I didn’t want anything to do with him at that time…”

“Exactly. So he misunderstood your intentions, and felt shitty, and held that against you.” Seungkwan sat up proudly, as if he had finally cracked the case, “Neither of you are really right. You both got shit jumbled up in your heated moments together— Minghao thought you were trying to manipulate him and force him into something he didn’t want, and you thought he was just being cold and rude.”

“That actually… makes sense..?” Hoshi looked at Seungkwan up and down, “Since when did you become a relationship coach?” 

Seungkwan huffed out a small chuckle, picking out a carrot from Hoshi’s bowl and biting it in half dramatically. 

“So…” Jun said softly, catching everyone’s attention, “What am I supposed to do?”

“Well,” Seungkwan swallowed, “Do you want him in your life?”

“No.” Jun answered quickly, but second guessed himself, “I mean— yes? Fuck, I don’t know… I don’t know if it’s good for me, you know?”

“I don’t know.” Seungkwan said, hoping to coax more out of Jun. 

“Please elaborate.” Hoshi asked through a mouthful of food. 

“He wasn’t… exactly the nicest to me. When we first met, I went out of my way to help him because I didn’t want him to… you know…” Jun made a slicing motion across his throat. Hoshi pressed his lips together. “But he was always so caring and thoughtful and… an amazing friend. But once we got to China, he started working and giving me a shit ton of money and he became more distant… He told me it was because he was busy at work and with his parents, but I don’t actually know what he did. Then we started having sex. He got even more distant and wouldn’t even stay until the morning. Just threw me some money ‘for my troubles’ and I wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time…” 

“If you become friends again, you won’t be having sex anymore, though. Do you think he’d be less detached?” Hoshi asked 

“I don't know!” Jun exclaimed in aggravation, “I would hope so! But he’s so unpredictable and rash… who knows what he’d do…”

“Well… give it some thought. If you want us to help you contact him and ask to be friends, we will. If you want us to help you avoid him, we will. Hell, we’d probably even help if you wanted to sabotage his life.” Seungkwan reassured. 

“Yeah! I'm always down for some tire slashing!” Hoshi shouted. 

“I don’t know…” Jun repeated, “I’ll think about it… I’m just exhausted right now…”

“Of course, that’s fine.” Seungkwan said with a soft smile, “I’m making dinner tonight, so feel free to just take a nap or something while I get everything ready.”

“Ohh,” Hoshi’s eyes lit up, “What’re ya makin’?”

“You’ll see when it’s done,” Seungkwan sighed at Hoshi, “Before you ask, no, you can’t ‘help me cook’. I know you’re just gonna try so you can steal the ingredients as we go.” 

“Damn… it’s like you can read minds…” Hoshi crossed his arms and scrunched up his face. “I’m gonna go play something then, do you wanna come, Hui? I’ll let you use the green controller.”

“Oh, uh,” Jun clenched his pillow a bit tighter, “No thanks, Hosh. I’m just going to… sleep a little.”

“You sure? You can kick my ass in Mario Kart like usual.” 

“Yeah, I’m good. After dinner, probably.”

Hoshi shrugged, standing from his position on the side of Jun’s bed. He gave Jun a pat on the shoulder and a look of sympathy complete with a sweet smile before heading towards the living room. 

“Hey.” Seungkwan said softly after he heard Hoshi turn on his console. 

Jun looked up from his hands, which were laying limply in his lap. 

“If you need anything, let me know.”

Jun scoffed, a small fake smile coming to his lips as he waved Seungkwan off. 

“Really, Junhui.” Seungkwan said, voice serious, “Just… let me know, okay? I don’t like seeing you so upset. Anything— just call and I’ll be there in a flash.”

“Thank you, Seungkwan.” Jun smiled, a real one this time.

Seungkwan smiled back, holding his arms out for a hug. Jun obliged, leaning into Seungkwan’s embrace. 

He was warm and soft and smelled like his lavender shampoo. Jun clenched his arms around Seungkwan’s shoulders tighter, taking in the good feeling of his touch. It was enough to make Jun’s floodgates open, feeling the long held back tears finally come forth. He cried and shook in Seungkwan’s arms, and Seungkwan just sat and held him. It felt so good to finally get it all out.

When Jun finally ran out of tears, he detached himself from the younger boy. Seungkwan reached over, using the sleeve of his sweater to sop up some of the tears soaking Jun’s red, puffy cheeks and eyes. 

“I’m sorry… It’s just been so long…” Jun apologized, rubbing his own eyes, “God, I didn’t even shower— I'm all sweaty and gross and I’ve been holding you and I got tears and snot all over your shoulder and… and-”

Seungkwan cut him off, chuckling, “Don’t worry, Jun. It’s okay. If I thought you were gross, I would have detached you from my body like, five minutes ago.”

Jun let himself laugh a bit at that. “Thank you, Seungkwan. Seriously. Thank you so much…”

“No problem, stupid.” Seungkwan teased, getting up from his seated position on the bed, “Now drink some water. Don't dehydrate yourself and let your skin start drying up.” 

Jun laughed a bit harder. He felt like a weight was lifted off his chest. He thanked Seungkwan again, watching him leave the room. For the first time all day, Jun felt calm and relieved.


End file.
